Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Lost Episode
What the hell did I just watch? In all sincerity, who or what in God’s forbidden name would be driven to create such a sick and twisted monstrosity? Nothing could honestly ruin something for you any worse than this did for me…
Two days ago, I was looking on ebay for seasons of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I was specifically looking for the second one since I owned most of the others. Now I’m the type of person who likes to conserve my money. So I was trying to find the season for really cheap. However, I was unable to find one for under $20 so I gave up on searching. I asked a friend if he knew of any good sites that sold cheap TV episodes similar to ebay. He then asked “Why would you be searching for cheap movies when you can just torrent them on the piratebay?” as he chuckled to himself. I then said to myself, why not? So we hung up and I looked up the episode on piratebay. I scrolled through the choices checking the comments to see if the torrents were legitimate. All I saw were a handful of comments in each link saying something similar to, “DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS. It contains a system 32 virus which took me forever to delete,” and other things like that.
After a while of being bored searching through the torrents I saw one with no comments. It was called “AQUA 2EEN HUNGER F4RCE IS0.” I know that it’s a bad idea to download things with unclear contents but honestly I was sick of looking all over. It’s just a show. Why the hell does this have to be so difficult? So I began downloading the torrent. Oddly enough, it reached 100% at a much faster time than my downloads normally take to complete. So I unzipped the folder and ripped it to my “DVDs” folder.
I then opened up my documents to click the folder but I couldn’t find it. I felt confused. Quickly, I found out that the DVD folder was strangely renamed to “wh4t??” which threw me off because files aren’t allowed to contain question marks, not to mention that the file was somehow renamed without my command. Remaining unworried, I opened the folder and there the file was named “AQUA 2EEN HUNGER F4RCE IS0.” I clicked it and Windows Media Player came up. I pressed Full Screen and started watching.
The WB logo appeared along with the piano music. However, the music sounded abnormally different. It sounded slightly distorted and off-key as if it were being played at a slower speed. The last holding note of the music proved my thoughts right. It definitely was off-key. This aggravated me, making me think “Wonderful. It’s glitched.”
Instantly, the menu popped up. What I saw took me by surprise and sent chills down my spine. Remember the DVD case of the third season of ATHF? The disturbing creepy cartoon depictions of Meatwad, Shake, and Frylock killing things with insane lunatic facial details? That was exactly what the menu was. It appeared with a sudden “BIP” sound. The same noise you would hear from plugging something into a large speaker while it was still on. I don’t know if it was the brightness of my laptop or the fact that their faces were illuminated due to video quality, but the faces sent a chilling jolt of fear from my neck down to my feet. The menu choices were “play all”, “episodes”, and “set up”. Wanting to get the menacing look of the characters off the screen as soon as possible, I clicked “play all”. I considered closing and deleting it but I decided to just let it play.
The screen went to black with a softer “BIP” sound. It stayed like that for ten seconds. I was about to check what the deal was when the intro came and took me by surprise. Instead of a “Dr. Weird” interlude or even the beginning drum beat of the song, it just started piercingly loud with “MY NAAAME IIIISSSSS!!!!!” again surprising the hell out of me. Nevertheless, I was relieved that the sound wasn’t distorted this time. The intro seemed normal. Almost normal until Meatwad transformed into what seemed like a tombstone with a dirt covering instead of an igloo. I didn’t notice it too well because I wasn’t going to pay a lot of attention to an intro that I’ve seen 100 times already. But from what I also think I saw, Meatwad’s face wasn’t his typical toothy smile. It was his face of displeasure and dislike. The same look he gets when Shake breaks one of his toys. That sad and depressed look. Shake’s face seemed blank and completely expressionless. He showed less expression than his typical bored face. Frylock’s expressions remained normal. The rest of the intro played out just fine. However, when it ended, a strange negative static-like image flashed onscreen with the sound of static then the episode played. I don’t know what the hell that was, but from how much I could pick up from it, it wasn’t something I would like to see at 2am alone in my room.
The episode playing was the one with the snake. Shake brought in a long cardboard box claiming to be for Meatwad. The episode was played normally until one thing really set me off. The box said “Cannibal” on it. I know I don’t remember this episode very distinctly from when I saw it a long time ago on Adult Swim, but that box definitely did not say that at the time. I got a strange vibe coming from this episode making me feel uncomfortable. I kept watching and everything seemed normal besides the strange creepy vibe from the cardboard box, the off-tune Warner Brothers intro, the sudden start of the episode, and that fucking main menu screen. Then at the part where the snake was sinking his teeth into Meatwad, the screen went blank. I checked the timestamp and wondered what the hell was wrong with this file. Eventually after about 26 seconds, it cut to the part where the snake had swallowed Meatwad and Shake. You could clearly see the outlines of their bodies bulging from the snake’s belly. Here’s the creepiest part. In the normal episode, I remember Shake and Meatwad just being in a regular standing position while inside the snake. This time, Shake’s pose was crooked and looked very awkward. He was bent backwards like his “spine” was fractured. There was something about it that made it seem like someone or something purposely broke it by force. Meatwad was in the shape of what seemed like a chubby baby infant slightly turned over from a sitting up position. Very displeasing to look at. I pushed on thinking that this episode could not get any stranger. Shake was rambling on as usual. Then he said something very muffled and strange. I was hardly able to somewhat make it out. It sounded like, “Get the camera so we can post this on the internet when babywad gets rotted by stomach acid.”
I didn’t think Shake would ever say something like this. Hell, I didn’t even think a joke like that could be allowed on Metalocalypse or Family Guy. The way it was delivered came off as very morbid and devilish. As if he wanted pain and misery more than anything. Shake always loves making Meatwad miserable and tormenting him but he only does it to rag on him. Not to make him suffer…
I realized I was feeling too sympathetic for Meatwad. It just a cartoon character right? Who cares, it’s not even real. I continued watching the episode. Frylock informed Shake and Meatwad that he was going to laser the snake to get them out. But then in the middle of Frylock’s eyes lighting up and zapping the snake, it cut to black with the “BIP” sound again. I was really getting sick of this. I waited for about 30 seconds while checking my phone. I looked up and just as I was about to skip ahead…
The laptop lit up so fast it startled me. Frylock screamed at the top of his lungs “OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!”. The sound blared out of my speakers so loudly that it felt like it was causing a violent rumbling impact upon my spine, making me jolt and spaz in panic and fear. There… Was Frylock’s face. His face was very closely detailed like some of the faces in Spongebob. His eyes were opened up so wide that his eyes were almost popping out of his sockets. Veins in his forehead were very visible with his blood coursing through them. His teeth were sharp and crooked despite his braces which amplified the disgusting nature of them. And his eyes… His eyes were shocking, menacing, demonic, insane, and ridden with psychotic lunacy. All of his veins were popping out and blood red. The bottom half was bloodshot turning from a dark red to a sudden distinct red where his maniacal pupils were. He had red irises. They seemed to be flowing with blood. Gore was splattered all over his face. Pieces of Shake (who for some reason has human innards) and Meatwad were slowly sliding off. The remains of them were covering the walls behind him. Blood, guts, and ruptured organ tissue stained the walls in a catastrophic bloodbath. The walls were smeared with nothing but bodily bits. It wasn’t just the gore that was traumatizing to look at, it was Frylock’s face. He stared deep into my soul and past it. His face was unbearable to look at. I jumped back and fell off of my bed in one motion. I was breathing heavily and my heart was skipping beats. Looking up, something about the laptop made it seem like it turned to face Frylock’s face directly at me during the fall. After a moment of disbelief and fear, adrenaline rushed throughout my whole body and I leapt up to my laptop and shut it. The sound still kept blaring out the speakers. The whole time, I could hear Frylock’s voice screaming and wailing, “WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?! I’VE KILLED THEM ALL!!”. In false hope of doing anything, I slammed down on my laptop trying to get it to shut up. While shivering with a tingling numb feeling throughout me, I turned the laptop to take out the battery and Frylock continued to wail even though my battery was out. Eventually, it halted to a sudden stop.
The creepiest feeling coursed throughout my body throwing my mind into a state of insanity and fright. I was breathing very heavily, hyperventilating so loudly that the noise was echoing throughout my room. My eyes must have widened like a madman. It took me a good 15 minutes to collect myself and wonder what the hell was going on. After a good hour of calming down at the slightest amount, I decided to reboot my laptop to delete the file.
I pressed the button and the laptop began firing up. The “Windows was not shutdown properly” menu showed up. I resumed windows normally. Immediately, the same pattern of gore stains I previously saw faintly appeared on my screen. Same layout, same exact pattern. I was scared. I assumed that the brightness of the blood showing up burnt into my screen. I was pissed but more scared than anything. When the desktop loaded, the gore was much more visible. It looked as if somebody literally blew their brains out all over my screen. The worst thing about it was that the blood and guts were slowly dripping downward. It was very noticeable. I did everything I could think of to get rid of it. Adjusting the screen resolution, display, restarted the goddamn thing four times. The blood wouldn’t go away. My laptop was cursed with Frylock’s murderous guilt.
But then a window popped up. It was the windows media player. I knew it wasn’t going to be a pleasant sight. I must have clicked the “X” 450 times. It wouldn’t go away. Looking near the bottom of the window, the title said “OH MY GO…” it scared the hell out of me. I clicked the timeline somewhere in the middle in hope I would see something that wouldn’t fuck with my head. Anything would have done the job.
It didn’t work… Frylock appeared with the same menacingly insane look. This time, he was holding Carl upside down in the back of the house near the brick wall. The word “Cannibal” was sprayed in graffiti on the bricks. He had a piece of flesh hanging off his teeth. He was holding a scalping knife up to his stomach. Carl’s face was the worst I’ve ever seen. He too had two bloodshot bulging eyes looking ready to pop out. His jaw hung wide open even though he was upside down. He was missing most of his teeth and the ones that were there were grotesquely crooked. Blood ran out his mouth and nose down to his scalp which was peeled like a banana. Frylock’s face slowly grew into a smirk of twisted satisfaction as he brought the scalping knife to Carl’s belly and began cutting. Guts were pouring out like a fountain.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I pressed alt-control-delete over and over and over again. Nothing worked. I ripped out the battery and threw my laptop behind the bed. Again the sounds of excruciating pain, gurgling, and flesh ripping continued for 15 seconds. 15 seconds which seemed like an eternity. The sound stopped and I just laid down on my bed. Staring blankly at the ceiling. I couldn’t think of anything but the blood splattering. It was burned into my mind. My ceiling seemed to be thriving with exploded flesh and human entrails. I had a hard time trying to sleep but somehow I did. I passed out around 8am. I then began to have nightmares about waking up with blood and flesh all over my face and smeared bowels in my hands. In one of them, a piece of an intestine itched my nose so I reached up to scratch it off only to pie myself in the face with salty tasting gore. The blood burned my eyes. I panicked and ran to a bathroom only to find that my face looked just like Frylock’s I screamed and woke myself up sweating with fear.
I could never get the image out of my head. All I knew for sure was that I could never watch the show ever again...