Assassin's Creed: Dark Blade

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You may know me as a regular gamer, and as a huge fan of Assassin's Creed, but if something like this happens again, I will possibly go into the Asylum.

It all started on Friday afternoon. School was out, and so me and my gamer friends discussed what we were going to do on the weekend. Most of them were going to play video games, as usual, so I made a suggestion: I make an Xbox Live Party, and they join it and we have a blasting fun time playing together, and they agreed. As I came home, I began to make an Xbox Live Party, and looked in the mail for the ordered Assassin's Creed I ordered on Amazon. Surprisingly, and disappointly, it wasn't there. I went on my email to find out that the game was having technical difficulties and it might be delayed for 3 hours. Disappointed, I said okay and waited.

I played Assassin's Creed Revelations in the meantime, and when the doorbell rang, and I saw the Amazon truck, I came to the door, quite fast. I got the package, and got a knife. I cut open the packaging (It's too hard to tear apart by hand) and looked at the game. I could almost hear an angel sing. I unwrapped the plastic that's on the game to prevent thieves from just Picking up and playing without paying at GameStop or whatever.

As I read the instructions, even though I practically knew the instructions from Assassin's Creed Revelations, I read it anyway, incase it had different controls, just like Gears Of War: Judgement Day. But that's a different story. I checked the disk for damage, as they said it had difficulties, and other than a very small scracth that may have happened during the delivery (and usually happens) I put the game in the Xbox 360. I mean, the disk. Not the game.

As the game started, I saw a hint of red on the ubisoft logo. I decided that it was the technical difficulty of the game, but the menu was odd. The DNA on the main menu that you see looked like a heart beat monitor, and it sounded, well, like a heartbeat monitor. I guess the DNA was on the Platium or whatever versoin, but the odd thing is, when I chose to play, the heartbeat stopped dead in its tracks, like the medics just lost a patient.

In the weird memory thing, it was even weirder. There were no tutorital, and most of the peasents looked worried. One of the peasents actually carried a sword, and when I approached him, I saw the peasent take out the sword, and stab ALTAIR IN THE STOMACH! The peasent raised the sword, making Altair shorta fly, and it was like when you retro charge someone in Gears Of War 3, but get this, ALTAIR threw up BLOOD! He made sputtering noises, and looked right into the Peasent's face with fear, while the Peasent had a smile on his face. Altair's head went down, indicating he died, and thus the Peasent grabbed Altair's corpse, and threw him off the sword.

I was shocked. And this wasn't like when you die in the game, it was sorta like Lieutinent Minh's death in Gears Of War, with slow-mo. Shocked, I didn't know what to do. I paused the game, quit it, and ate some cereal. Gaining some courage, I went back to the game. The game had me play as the exact Peasent that killed Altair, but before it all happened. As I watched myself trip and roll all over the place, I tried to run away so he wouldn't kill Altair, but he ran STRAIGHT TOWARDS ALTAIR, AND DiD THE EXACT SAME THING, but there was a twist. When Altair looked at the Peasent, he said "Why would you do this to me? Why *sputter* why?" before he died.

I was able to run away after that scene, and so I, for some reason, decided to watch Altair's corpse. It was unlike Assassin's Creed of some sort. The body twicted every few moments, and the body also had blood squirt out of the place the Peasent stabbed Altair in every few seconds. I then saw the popup of Altair's decomposed face for a brief second before disappearing.

Shocked, I wonder how they could allow to even call this a "technical difficulty" Before I was ready to hand it in, I saw that I was going on to another level. I was supposed to walk aimlessly through the graveyard, and so I did, I heard moans and groans (heheh that rhymes) every so often, and then I heard "Nothing behind you..." and I turned behind me after pausing, only to find nothing. But when I unpaused, and looked behind me in the game, I SAW A BLOODY AND DECOMPOSED ALTAIR RUNNING RIGHT AT ME! He was saying "I will PLAY in your BLOOD!" with a ghostly voice as I ran for dear life in the game.

Unfortunly, he was faster than me. When he got me, he stabbed the hidden blade into the Peasent's neck, and pulled the head upwards. He PULLED the head off, and the SPINE was still on! He kicked the body to the ground, and stared into the decapitated head and said in that same ghostly voice: "Well, me and you will play nicely together, won't we?" I then got a red ring of death. I destroyed the game and hid it, and I emailed Amazon asking HOW could they mess up a game this bad?

They never answered that question, and they probably won't, I thought as I played Assassin's Creed that I got from GameStop.